March BJP I could not even sit to bead for a while..I sometimes struggle with intense anxiety so its hard to be still. I could not think of :the sunlight of the spirit". Then I was getting anxious because I was getting behind. Finally I decided to bead my anxiety. I hand painted some Lutradur that I bought from Quilting Arts on line store. Pretty fun. Then I melted it with a heat gun. I did some stamping as well. I tried to figure which colors radiate anxiety...Who knows. It may be a little orderly for anxiety but I think it may have put a space between my anxiety and my person. I messed around with some texture ,the ups and downs and arounds. 
Feb09-Im working on a difficult issue in my life. Somehow I need some help so...in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anoymous , page 12 it says "it was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning. " I felt some relief while reading this so I decided to do my Feb piece on this. I found a fabric I wanted to use. I wanted to work in a color I dont love to push my comfort level a little. I used some gold angelina and felted it into the fabric. I just beaded on top of this. I didnt know what would happen, infact throughout most of it I did not have a plan. I did play with some stitches From Robins book. I used the small bugle beads in the lower left corner to make what turned out to be dahlis. I tepeed them. I really like the effect,though close up all you can see is the flaw of the thread between the beads. I want to work with this a little. My objective while working on this piece was to feel the presence of "something other then me. This was my exercise. It helped some but as they say progress not perfection. I need to become willing in order to allow in the Sunlight of the Spirit. This is a beginning for me. 
This month my subject is on authenticity, or being" true to my heart".. The tip starts with the white -being my true self. As I go along in my day I get involved with all the negative self talk, or the shoulds or the shouldnts, or the too high expectations, or the Im so specials...I then find myself totally spinning out of control. Im agitated, anxious, angry...you name it. Eventually I become aware of what Im doing and make a decision to change what Im doing and take a deep breath, watch my thoughts and realize what my values are.I know I have learned the tools to get back to my authentic self which is the bottom part of the heart(the white section). I do not always do this but I try, try, try. Thats the beauty of a 12 step program-its a continuous process. I always have the option. So here is "be true to my heart".
